6 Smart Ass AnswersPosted:
Thu Aug 09, 2007 4:30 pm
> SMART ASS ANSWER #6
> It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
> "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked
> John, seated in front.
> "What are my choices?" John asked.
> "Yes or no," she replied.
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER #5
> A flight attendant was stationed at the departure
> gate to check tickets.
> As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
> ticket and he opened his
> trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat,
> she said, "Sir, I need
> to see your ticket not your stub."
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER #4
> A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at
> the! grocer y store but she
> couldn't find one big enough for her family.
> She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any
> bigger?"
> The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER #3
> The cop got out of his car and the kid who was
> stopped for speeding rolled
> down his window.
> "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
> The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as
> I could."
> When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the
> kid on his way without a
> ticket.
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER #2
> A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A
> sign comes up that
> reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the
> bridge is right ahead of
> him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
> Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car
> com! es up. The cop gets
> out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts
> his hands on his hips and
> says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No,
> I was delivering this
> bridge and ran out of gas."
>
>
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006
>
>
> A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
> final exam. "Now class, I
> won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
> tomorrow.
> I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious
> personal injury, illness, or
> a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no
> other excuses
> whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room
> raised his hand and
> asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
> suffering from complete
> and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is
> reduced to laughter
>
> and snickering. When silence is ! restore d, the
> teacher smiles knowingly at
> the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,
> "Well, I guess you'd have to
> write the exam with your other hand."
Person 1: One time I was in class and there was this big kid who said "Give me some money so I can buy a candy bar." I said "no" and the kid started beating me up right in class. The blind teacher didn't see anything and said nothing to stop him.
Person 2: That sucks.
Person 1: Yeah, so I'm just sitting there with my nose all bloody. I turn to the girl next to me and ask her if I could borrow one of the tissues in her bra.
Person 2: Ha ha, what'd she do?
Person 1: Punch me in the face.
> SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006
>
>
> A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
> final exam. "Now class, I
> won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
> tomorrow.
> I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious
> personal injury, illness, or
> a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no
> other excuses
> whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room
> raised his hand and
> asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
> suffering from complete
> and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is
> reduced to laughter
>
> and snickering. When silence is ! restore d, the
> teacher smiles knowingly at
> the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,
> "Well, I guess you'd have to
> write the exam with your other hand."
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